i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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