you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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