I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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