Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
