Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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