and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
