woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
