He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
