i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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