How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
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Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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