Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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