I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
