u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
