You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
