and i looked up. we had an audience...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
