im drinking this country out of the recession.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
