walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
