I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
