Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
