I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
