I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
