I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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