Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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