I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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