i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
high people should be assigned attendants
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
