Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
