why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize