Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
