and you said cock pushups were impossible
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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