I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
