I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have aggressive nipples.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
