I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
