Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize