it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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