Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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