your thong is hanging out like whoa
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
