She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
