I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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