he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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