i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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