i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
