i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
