yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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