jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
