Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
