I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
