So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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