One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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