I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
