i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Boobs are out for the taking
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
