What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
