I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
