Nicole vs. Life
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
