My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
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So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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