I am full of burrito and curiosity
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
